The Rift Award Show
by webhead112233
Summary: The analysts deserve a little credit for their work, so I put together this little award show to show off the Rift's best and brightest. Rated T just incase Texeriax or Drowning in Horseshoes gets a Rifty.
1. The Categories

**Okay! It's time to open the polls for the Rift Award Show! It's your choice (my vote is only worth one vote, same as every one else) who gets a Rifty and who goes home with nothing at all. Here are the categories.**

**Most comedic: who do you think is the funniest analysts? Please note that an analyst's humor must be consistent. If they're paint-drying gray most of the time, but then made a single comedic video that happened to be hilarious, they don't qualify.**

**Best rant: it doesn't matter if they were right or wrong, so long as it was especially entertaining. Speeches, like Golden Fox's at the end of his Twilight's Kingdom review and Mr. Enter's about kids shows won't count.**

**Best speech: it doesn't matter what it's about, so long as it's particularly inspirational. Rants like Voice of Reason's on Friendship is Witchcraft and most of what Drowning in Horseshoes says won't count.**

**Best head-canon: who used the most logic and clues from the show to blow your mind?**

**Best catchphrase: Who's recurring phrase sticks in your mind the most?**

**Best fanfiction reading: it doesn't matter what they were reading or who wrote it, so long as the reading was above average.**

**Most creative OC: this category combines the OC's design, mark, powers, and name. **

**Best structure: who has the best manner of conducting their videos?**

**Most fair: here we're looking for someone who is willing to admit when their own opinions are wrong.**

**Most cinematic: analysts often tell a story to frame their videos, examples being Canned Cream's battles with Loathing or Silverquil's attempts to obtain the Alicorn Amulet.**

**Best collab: which two analysts played off each other in the most entertaining fashion?**

**Most controversial topic: there are certain things that you're just not supposed to talk about. And yet, their talked about all the time. How well they handled the topic will be a factor.**

**Best fan-girl/boying: who wore their joy on their sleeve the most?**

**Best defense: sometimes an analysts fights, not to destroy, but to defend. What their defending doesn't matter, all that matters is that they did it well.**

**Best fan project: it doesn't matter if it's an animatic, song/comic-dub, or simple a response to fan mail. All that matters is that it was done well.**

**And, just because making other people uncomfortable makes me laugh, cutest fan couple: it doesn't matter if their pairing is real or not, in fact it almost makes it better if it isn't, so long as it's two analysts who look adorable together.**

**And those are the categories. You can vote on all categories, but you can only vote once. Pole closes when this hits twenty reviews. I'll see you all at the Rift Award Show! **


	2. Setting Up

Sinfulnature1123 walked into Webhead112233's office. Webhead looked over to his comrade, who handed him an envelope. "The first vote is in." Sinful said.  
>Webhead nodded, looked at the review, separating the votes for the separate categories, and placed them in the ballot box. "Thanks for your help Sinful. I may not be able to touch your lemon fics with a ninety-nine and a half inch pole, but you're a good guy."<br>"Glad to help. I may not be able to look upon your love and tolerance ridden fics (the rage fuel that is My Two Sense on the Ember Island Players excluded) without eye protection, but it's still cool what you're doing here for the analysts."  
>Webhead and Sinful began constructing the room in which the award show would take place. A large room, just outside the first layer of the Rift. "Yeah, I just feel the analysts deserve a little credit, you know? Plus it helps the readers to; another distraction from the off season." Webhead explained.<br>"Yeah, I can understand wanting to give credit where credit is due. My lemon fic about Dragon Quest 9: Sentinels of the Starry Skies showed me just how few people appreciate the game," Sinful said, shaking his head, "It's a crying shame."

The two worked on the award show room for a few hours, building the podium and setting up the lights. After that, Sinful Nature went a few layers into the Rift to put up fliers so that the analysts would know where the award show was taking place. Webhead would have done so himself, but he was a bit afraid of going into the Rift.  
>When all was said and done, there was nothing left for them to do but wait for the other votes. "One down, nineteen to go."<p> 


	3. Comedy, Rant, Speech, and Head-canon

Webhead stepped out onto the stage, looking over the roaring crowd that had gathered to celebrate the analysts.  
>"Welcome all! To the very first Rift Award Show!" Webhead called. The crowd cheered. "We've got seventeen awards to give out, starting with..." Webhead raised the first award, "The most comedic analysts! This award shall go to the analyst who has been the funniest, the longest. And the award goes to..." Webhead opened the envelope. "Josh Scorcher!"<br>The viewers cheered. "His rage-praise of MLP and his surprisingly fair grading of the episodes has provided us all with laughter induced heart attacks, and that's all you can really ask for."  
>Webhead pressed a button on his podium and a portal of Rift magic. "Unfortunately, Josh couldn't be here today (because I this universe Josh Scorcher and Fire Brand are two different characters), so his award shall be delivered by way of this portal."<br>Webhead then chucked the award into the portal and watched it sail into the world. He then put his hand to hid ear and listened. After a few moments, a thud resonated from the portal followed by a cry of pain from Josh Scorcher. "Why?! Just why!?"  
>"Because Balspawn was right, your pain IS funny!" Webhead shouted back. "Granted." Josh called back as Webhead closed the portal.<p>

"Next is the award for best analyst rant." Webhead said when the crowd stopped laughing. "This award shall go to the analyst who has let out a stream of rage that either got the most people to agree or is at least incredibly quotable. And the winner is..." Webhead opened the envelope, "Mr. Enter!"  
>Mr. Enter walked out onto the stage, waving to the cheering crowd. "Enter, you have been voted for this award mainly, if not completely, for your 'Just a Kids Show' rant. You voiced the opinions of thousands in mere seconds, and have more than earned this." Webhead said, handing him the award.<br>Mr. Enter accepted the award, thanking the viewers for voting him and turned to walk off the stage. He didn't notice Webhead's suspicious grin until Webhead had pressed another button on the podium and Mr. Enter was jettisoned off the stage by a blast of sound from a giant speaker that had spawned from nothing.  
>"Next we have the award for the best analyst speech. This award shall go to the analyst that let out the most memorable speech that inspired those who watched it. And the award goes to..." Webhead opened he envelope, "Golden Fox!"<br>Golden Fox flew onto the stage, doing a trick or two in the air to appease the crowd. "Golden Fox, your speech at the end of your Twilight's Kingdom review is one of the only things from this fandom to actually inspire me." Webhead said. Then, realizing what he'd just said and where he'd said it, turned to the crowd and said, "Not that it isn't an amazing fandom, it just doesn't usually do inspirational specifically. But you, Golden Fox, lit a coal fire that's still burning to this day and likely keep burning after the start of season five."  
>Webhead handed Golden Fox his award and pushed another button. Golden Fox was hit by another sound blast, this time from beneath, and was launched to far into the air to be seen.<br>"And the last award that will be awarded this chapter (because I'm at my grandparent's house for Thanksgiving and am just generally lazy) is the award for best head-canon.  
>"This shall be awarded to the analysts who has crafted the best theory about the world of MLP using logic, little hints from the story, and a little logic. And the award goes to..." Webhead checked the envelope, "Ink Rose!"<br>Ink Rose Rift magic spawned onto the stage, pulling a heart-attack-inducingly-cute look. "From Applejack's parents, to the origins of Chrysalis, Sombre, the two sisters and Discord. The line between head-canon and fanfiction may be a little blurred with you, but I must say that you've more than earned-" "False!" Sinful Nature cried, taking the stage with Canned Cream.  
>"Ink Rose is not head-canoner! She is a mere fanfic writer! An excellent fanfic writer perhaps, but a fanfic writer none the less. This reward is for a head-canon maker, and the clear winner in Canned Cream! Magic, second six, elements of disharmony! He over head-canons Ink Rose both in quantity AND quality!" Sinful said, Canned Cream looking slightly disoriented, as he was likely plucked directly from the stands by Sinful with no idea what was happening or why.<br>"You know what, you may very well be right. But your forgetting something Sinful, them." Webhead gestured to the crowd, which had gone silent in rage and was slowly working its way towards Sinful Nature.  
>"Them? What do I care about the vast majority? This is about truth, not mass opinion. And the truth is- AH! NO!" Sinful cried as he was pulled off stage by the crowd and swiftly beaten.<br>Webhead handed Ink Rose her award, who giggled, thus sending a few people to the hospital for cuteness heart attacks, and Rift magic fazed out.  
>Webhead looked at Canned Cream, who was still confused about just what was happening. CC barely got out the word "What-" before Webhead pushed another button and fired him off the stage out of a cannon.<p> 


	4. Full Title Inside

**Fanfic Reading, Fair, OC, Structure, Controversy, and Catchphrase **

"Alright everybody, we are back!" Webhead called out to the crowd. "Let's not waste any time and jump right into the next award, best fanfiction reading. This award will go to the analysts who reads fanfiction on their channel better than the rest, an the winner is..." Webhead opened the envelope, "Dr. Wolf for his reading of But is Everything!" The crowd cheered as Dr. Wolf took to the stage and accepted his award.  
>"I am deeply honored that you voted me for this award." Dr. Wolf thanked the voters. "Don't go anywhere Doc, it seems that, as a result of your calm, collected reviews of all works, you've also won the award for most fair analyst!" Webhead said, handing the award. "And, for your interesting, unique, and multi-animated character, you've won the award for most creative OC!"<br>Dr. Wolf gladly accepted his awards. "Thank you all, I don't know what to say." "You've earned it Doctor. Now, I hope you don't take this the wrong way." Webhead said, pressing a button on he podium that turned the floor under Dr. Wolf to become a catapult and launch him off the stage.  
>"Next up is the award for best structure. This award will go to the analyst who's videos are made with the utmost attention to when and where everything happens to make everything as enjoyable as possible. And the award goes to..." Webhead opened the envelope, "Silverquil!"<br>Silverquil walked on stage, accepting his award. "Silverquil, you don't just review, you put on a show, and it's a show worthy of it's praise." Webhead said, pushing another button on the podium and subsequently vacuuming Silverquil away.  
>"Next up is the award for the most controversial topic. This award will go to the analyst who tackled a topic knowing full well that great backlash would follow, and either handled it with the greatest care, or just flipped out the most and scared us into voting for them. And the award goes too..." Webhead opened the envelope, "Voice of Reason for his review of Friendship is Witchcraft!"<br>Voice took the stage and accepted his award. "Whether you agree with him, like me, or not, like them," Webhead gestured to the gate where a horde of angry viewers stood foaming at the mouth, "You have to respect his ability to go in guns blazing. And don't worry, I won't push any buttons, wouldn't want to get on the Rift Master's bad side." Voice grinned and fazed out before Webhead could change his mind and push a button.  
>"Next up is the award for best catchphrase. This award will go to the analyst who's catchphrase invokes the most fan-squeing. And the award goes to..." Webhead opened the award, "Keyframe!"<br>Keyframe took the stage and accepted her award. "What do you say Keyframe, want to let them hear it?" Webhead asked. Keyframe grinned and looked out at the crowd, "My name is Keyframe, looking at point A, point B, and everything in between!"  
>Too late Webhead realized his mistake. He'd build the walls to handle the strength of a crazed fan, but he hadn't factored in the strength bonus that the fans would get from hearing the catchphrase. The fans cheered, stopped and charged. The only way to protect the stage and all the analysts it help was for Webhead to push another podium button. Said button opened up a trap door, setting all the fans plummeting.<br>"Well, there are no more viewers, so it seems like a good time for a break."


	5. The Close

"Okay, it looks like I've gotten the crowd settled down." Webhead said, having reinforced and electrified the fence between the stage and the audience.

"Now let's get back to business with the award for best fan analyst. This award will go to the analyst who has consistently fan boy/girl-ed out with more force than is possible for the average human. And the award goes to…" Webhead opened the envelope, "As if this surprises anyone, ILoveKimPossibeALot, AKA, KP!"

The crowd cheered as KP took the stage. "KP, you would have been a shoo-in for this award based on your reaction to any and all things Discord, but you've gone above and beyond to seal the deal with your constant super fanning. Your user name alone is proof enough that you've earned this." Webhead handed KP her award.

"And considering your name, I can think of no better an exit than this." Webhead pushed another podium button. KP's leg was instantly tied to a grappling hook which was fired off stage, taking KP with it.

"Next is the award for the most cinematic analyst. This award will go to the analyst who puts the most effort into putting on a show with their videos. And the winner is… I don't even think I need to open the envelope to tell you that the award goes to Silverquil!" Webhead said.

Opening the envelope confirmed the guess, and Silverquil took the stage. "We all saw this one coming from the moment you got the award for best structure. If it weren't for Scorcher, you'd probably be leaving here with the award for best comedy as well." Webhead handed Silverquil his award and pushed another button. The floor underneath Silverquil turned into a treadmill, which moved so fast it launched the hippogriff of the stage.

"Next up is the award for best collab. This award will go to the two analysts who managed to work together and complement each other the best. And the award goes to…" Webhead opened the envelope, "Toonkritic and Camgoespony!"

The two of them took the stage. "Toon, Cam, your collaboration may not have been a long one, but, if the votes are any indication, it left quite an impact. A cyberpony and a guy in a top hat, what's not to love?" Webhead handed Toon and Cam two awards which, when held together, formed a whole award. Then he pressed another button. Cam and Toon where glued together and fired off the stage.

"Next up is the award for best defense. This award will go to the analyst who did the best job of defended something from the haters. This one was close, due to NickyV's scene defenders, but the winner is…" Webhead opened the envelope, "Mr. Enter for his defending of Twilight's Kingdom!" Mr. Enter walked onto the stage. "Mr. Enter, many people, analysts and troll alike, have done their best to poke holes in the season four finally. But you managed to put an iron-on patch over all of them. For this valiant effort, you deserve this." Webhead handed Mr. Enter his award and allowed him to exit the stage of his own volition.

"Next up is the award for best fan project. This award will go to the analysts who created the best piece of fan work represented in video. Now, sometimes many people work together on fan projects, but the award will go to the analyst whose channel the project was featured on. And the award goes to…" Webhead opened the envelope, "Anthony C, AKA Cosmologic, for Nightmare Night 2014!" Cosmologic took the stage, accepting his award. "If there's a more over the top way to respond to hate-mail, I'm not sure I want to know about it." Webhead said, pushing another podium button to fire Cosmologic through a whole in reality.

"And now we end with the one you've all been waiting for, the award for best fan couple. I don't even have an envelope to open for this one. You know who it I, I know who it is, so let's cut the crap and call out Fire Rose!"

Fire Brand and Ink Rose appeared on stage in a burst of flames and rose petals. They both opened their mouths to say something. "If you two sing, I'll push every single button on this podium and the same time and bring this whole place down on us." Webhead warned. Annoyed, they kept quiet.

"What can be said about the two of you? I love both of your individual channels. When you two work together, I get the strange urge to fill a pillowcase with dead batteries and beat you both with it. That's meant as a compliment." Webhead handed them their award.

He then pressed another button. "Oh my, it seems I've pressed the self-destruct. Shame, if I could extended the reach of this podium, I could've taken over the world. Oh well, I guess Sinful Nature was right, at least it will help with the cleanup." Webhead said, rushing out of the room, and leaving the analysts to their own devices with the podium counting down from ten.


End file.
